Growing In Love

In relationships, we learn as we go and aspire naturally towards a certain perfection

In order to feel the effects of our actions, we often associate feelings together that are better left separate. We tend to act, sometimes in enabling ways, out of the goodness of our hearts; nonetheless not really serving in the correct or optimal manner the needs of both parties in a relationship.

The emotion of love often will become mixed with other feelings such as guilt, obligation, respect and loyalty. What we say we are doing in love sometimes turns into a continuation of a lessthan-optimal exchange of energies. This effectively roots us in lower relationships, where expectations are not met.

When you are engaged in such an exchange, it is often extremely difficult to see the true dynamics of the relationship because of personal investment of emotions and personalities. Do you notice that you come to a point in these relationships beyond which you cannot pass?

Would you accept the possibility that you already have the answers to these seeming dilemmas within you, and that you are playing out the experience? Often, the answer comes from yourself, and your desire to outwardly manifest solutions to the dramas unfolding within you to bring to wholeness and completeness. It is your courage to love yourself enough to command the blessings that are your due. The individual that seeks true healing will always manifest the healer, in manifold ways. The finger of God is the ultimate decision that you make in order to refine and define the boundaries that are the posts of your comfort zone. Sometimes, the most loving word that you can say to another
is ‘no.’

For, in stating what is and is not allowable for you, sets the conditions of what you allow into your life. It is separating love from guilt and fear, and treating each in their own due regard. If you were in an enabling relationship where, for the intense love you feel for another you allow an unhealthy relationship to continue, it may indeed be most healthy by saying ‘no’ to the continuation of allowing the other person to transgress your boundaries.

If you can look at it as loving that other person in the highest possible way, you are actually helping them more by setting them free from specific interactions with you. And you know that the interactions in life do not change unless you change them, for you are consciously altering your position and acting on your increased perception of where the energies in a relationship are really going. Do you sabotage yourself in relationships, capitulating to an expectation that you have in your partner that may or may not come to pass? Do you expect them to someday change or to become what you desire in the best for them, meanwhile sacrificing and sabotaging your joy in the now? Do you have a dread of commitment to your partner, for fear you may be tied down or obligated? Have you attached to your fervent love of your partner the feelings of guilt and obligation, obscuring the beauty you saw in that person in the first place?

We learn through our experiences. In relationships, we engage in an exchange of emotions, feelings, and actions that pass through the nexus of our evolution’s snapshot in time. We learn as we go, and aspire naturally towards a certain perfection, made the more holy by a spiritual commitment to perceive the higher truths of our existence.

Opening such a foray into truth, swaddled in the folds of the search for God in love, wisdom and the will, we will obtain levels of truth that are sometimes unsettling, often surprising, and definitely unpredictable. If you engage in such a path, you will learn discernment where it applies most; within yourself. Sometimes painfully and sometimes repeatedly, these lessons of life come as surely as the tide and are made ever more so intense according to your desire to aspire.

In relationships, those challenge points you come to are set up by you, for you. It is in the claiming and stating of your will, that the terms of your relationships are set. It is in the constancy of the maintenance of your will that the relationship gains continuity according to your desires. It is also in the open heart and the open mind that you allow your will to shift and grow with new information that inevitably comes about through the living of life.

How much sweeter it is to have a clear mind and a clear heart; not harnessed to the millstone of guilt, obligation, or fear. Can you say at this time that you are clear in your relationships? Are there some illusions within the body of your relationships that are ready for dispelling and clarity? The illusion you clear, you do for yourself, and the effect it has on your partner is a reflection of the harmlessness, love and clarity you put into it.