Overcoming Life's Hurdles

Getting stuck is not only a necessary part of spirituality, it is a prerequisite to spiritual growth

If i were to diagram my spiritual life, it would look something like this: A continual series of ups and downs, through all of my life, moving in a slow upward direction, although some of the lows would seem lower than before and some of the highs would seem higher than before.

When i picture this graph, it is not encouraging at first, because the longer i live, the further away the end of the graph appears. It is very much like the elusive end of the rainbow — the closer i get, the further away it seems.

And yet there is something you cannot see on a one-dimensional diagram, something you cannot express with lines and words. There is a hidden excitement that begins to surface, a tingling of the soul that quickens my consciousness as i gaze at this trail of God in my life. I suddenly realise a great truth-the upand-down syndrome of my life is the fingerprint of God on my soul! It is the remains of my struggle of faith, the ups and downs of my ongoing dialogue with the God. It is the way growth looks.

I am beginning to realise that the spiritual life is not so much progress as it is process. It is not a continuous climb upwards as much as it is a continuous climb. It is not the victories that matter so much as the going on after the defeats. The longer the erratic dance of faith goes on, the less you care about what God is doing, and the more you want to know about God. Spirituality is, after all, about intimacy with God.

Look at the graph for a minute. Notice the low spots-flat, long at times, surrounded by highs. Whatever the low spots are, they appear to be negative. If the high spots represent the good or positive in my spiritual life and the low spots represent
the bad or negative in my relationship with God, then obviously the high spots are to be sought after and the lows are to be avoided.

But what if we do something radical? What if we remove those kind of value judgments from this graph? What if, in place of concepts like good and bad, positive and negative, high and low, we replace our value judgments with words like stalled and moving, or listening and acting, or stopping and starting, or waiting and not waiting?

What does that do to our understanding of the spiritual life? Maybe waiting is good and not waiting is bad. Maybe stopping is better than starting, listening better than acting, and stalling better than moving. Maybe one cannot happen without the other. Maybe stopping is necessary to starting, maybe acting cannot happen without listening first.

Of course, i do not believe there is many ‘maybe’ about it. I believe that our understanding of spirituality has been distorted and ruined by our artificial judgments and our one-dimensional understanding of our relationship with God.

Let me point out a couple of interesting characteristics of this graph. Every high is followed by a low and every high is preceded by a low. Maybe what the graph means is that you cannot achieve a high without first achieving a low. Maybe lows are not low at all, but just part of the highs. I would like to abandon the high or low model and rename these parts as ‘stuck’ and ‘unstuck.’ Maybe, getting stuck is necessary before we can get unstuck, which means that getting stuck is actually a wonderful place to be.

When you look at it like this, then getting stuck is not only a necessary part of spirituality, it is a prerequisite to spiritual growth.

Most people consider being stuck a negative, a sin of failure or burnout, an indication that a person isn’t working hard enough on their spiritual life. It’s a report card on personal prayer. If you feel stuck in your spiritual life, then you aren’t doing something right because no one should be stuck with God. Nothing could be more untrue. The truth is that everyone should stuck with God many times because it is the prerequisite to being unstuck.

Being stuck is a great moment. It may be characterised by frustration, loneliness, or detachment, but those things are only the vocabulary of our souls telling us we are in danger. It is the cry of our souls craving for more. It is our longings and yearnings trying to get our attention. It is a summons, a call from within. It is the glorious music of disaffection and dissatisfaction with where we are now. It is the anguish of our interior life pleading with us not to give up, but to give in.

It is the Holy Spirit stopping us dead in our tracks so we can read the words that God has written on our hearts-surrender. Surrender. Put your arms around your soul, embrace your anguish, respond to your summons from God. Get ready for the adventure of growing on to the next part of your life.

Getting stuck is worth whatever anguish you must go through just so you can hear God say to you, “hang on, you are about to get unstuck.”

You are the World

When you change the way you live your life you begin to influence the way others live their lives

What we have created individually and collectively is a world where we believe we are each a separate entity from one another and separate from the very planet that sustains us.

Because we believe we are separate, we go by the philosophy of “I have to look out for myself,” therefore, i will do whatever it takes to ensure i have enough of whatever i desire. If my desires impinge on your needs, my desires take precedence, because i am better than you. That is how our world is run today.

We believe in a system that says i can go outside myself into the physical world and do the things it takes to provide me with the possessions that i lack to make my life better and make me happy.

For too many of us this system does not work. Material possessions and being better does not seem to bring us inner peace and happiness. These concepts are elusive when you try to achieve them by going outside yourself into the physical world.

Think about this: Inner peace. Just the very sound of it tells us where to go. You can’t find it outside of yourself; you have to go inside. You have to go to your inner source. The source that gives all of us unbelievable resources, strength and guidance is present in all of us to use on our life journey. We need merely go inside ourselves to find it.

The key is to go inside yourself and reconnect with your spirit. You see, we are all made up as a three part being; mind, body and spirit. We are born into this world in perfect balance.

As we begin learning the ways of our journey we try to live in this balance. But when we encounter the external world, we find that our parents, teachers, and friends, with the
best of intentions, impart on us their interpretations of this physical world, along with all their rules and expectations.

The spiritual side of us does not conform to these external parameters, but eventually we priorities our lives around the external rules and expectations placed upon us by others and begin to lose the balance of our spirit in our day-to-day living. We become more and more controlled by the mind and the body.

So the mind, controlled largely by the ego, and the body, which we identify as our entity, are subject to the physical world with the total ability to create and adapt to it as we like; that is, with “free will.” And adapt we do. We buy into the separation mentality that says, “My body and existence is different and separate from yours, and so I must do what is best for me.”

Only by bringing the spirit back into the equation to create a balanced mind-body-spirit being do we come to understand that we are not separate at all, but that we are all one. Because we are one, what we do to another, we do to ourselves.

It is the wonderful golden rule that we all know, but which we rarely live by: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Wow! Can you imagine what our world would be like if we actually lived by the Golden Rule?

You can't live by the golden rule if you think that you are separate from everyone else. Only within the paradigm of oneness can the concept of the golden rule be achieved. This is what nuts and bolts Spirituality is all about.

When you change the way you live your life you begin to influence others in the way they live their lives. It is in this conscious change that we collectively influence how the human race evolves.

We are at a crossroads on this planet. We have created the ability to make this planet unlivable to the human life form. If we continue down the path that we are on now we could see this happen in the not too distant future.

Our present belief system has taken us to this point in our existence. Only a change in our belief system will determine whether we will continue on a path of destruction or allow us to follow another path toward a more enlightened existence.

You are totally at choice as to which belief system serves you. You can believe that you are separate from all things or you can believe that you are one with all things. You are always at choice in what you believe and how you create your life. Nothing has changed.

The key is to be aware of and understand what serves you, and what does not serve you. It is then up to you to create your life by making conscious choices as to what serves you best.

The choice is yours. It always has been and always will be.

The War Within

The battle that rages within us starts when we enter the world and continues until the day we die

The conflict that rages within is an integral part of all of us. It is the war between good and bad, right and wrong, hate or love, mercy or vengeance, want and need, lust and relationship and much more. It starts the very moment we open our eyes and enter this world and it continues until the day we finally close those eyes and leave this world. Those who remain are left to deal with our influences.

When we are born, conflict enters on a personal note through our body needs and wants. We cry, yell, annoy, interrupt — those of us who have raised babies understand. We care not about others, we only care about us. We recognise just what is required through our inner self. As we get older we shape those needs and wants via our senses, opinions, desires, environment, influences, education and outside impacts.

It is now that the true war begins not only with ourselves but also with every single being we come to interact with. Some of those interactions are good and some are bad. The bottom line we are consistently at war within and it is a consistent and constant battle. Now this war relates to the choices one makes. It could be said it is the path you chose. The inner being is the real you in effect your intellect, your spiritual being. That is who you are.

Our outer being most likely demonstrates that which we have installed as part of our shield, that book cover we show to all and which demonstrates that which we accept as right and perceive as acceptable by those whom we want to accept us. That which we have been taught, instructed and accepted as being right.

However, who is to say what is right or wrong? We all dream, fantasies, want, need, seek, and covet. It is however, the disciplines and controls, the safety mechanisms that we have set, accepted and installed that keep us on the path and which we perceive as good, verses that of bad. Well that is where society as a whole emerges. Society is the collective thoughts of many which are translated into laws, norms and traditions.

They are the outer forces or controls that we as a majority put into place to stop, warn, and allow for what is perceived as good for all of us. That is why conflict when you have the breaking or abuse of those norms, which have been established for the good of the whole. It matters not what your inner being thinks, desires or wants, it is what society, the group, the majority has established as norms and acceptable. Break them and there is a price to pay, no one greater then the whole. This is what creates tranquility, peace, security, safety, and society and reduce separation and conflict. Once we cross the line and break the law for one, a group and ideology and want to impose that and our will and philosophy on all without the acceptance of all we can expect anger, conflict or worse.

Our inner self should be open to the truth, the facts, the very roots of the entire issue and not selectively impose our thoughts while eliminating all others as bad, wrong, non important. So like the scowl or warning we put on our face that says very explicitly don’t get near me stay away and makes a precise statement, or when you role your eyes, make a facial or body gesture you are making a statement.

You see our inner being controls that which we show on our outer being, it is called non verbal communication or body language, we tend to not see this war raging in each on the outside of that person and it is a major stumbling block for unity. Many in their interactions key these responses, rightly or wrongly they draw a conclusion. We want to be right so we impose out views on everyone else. What is acceptable for one society may not be for others. Therefore tolerance must always be part of the war within and understanding and listening the tool for peace, acceptance, friendship. Yet, when we challenge that society by breaking its law, challenging its established and accepted norms or imposing what is appropriate then just who are the real problem makers?

It matters not in whose name you come, under what authority, quoting whatever religious text you want, you are imposing your will upon others. When we all come to understand that we are at all at war within and that this same battle rages in us all. That it is a war that is continual and it is a war of the body verses the soul, good verses bad, then we can begin to understand others.

When we no longer want to use or abuse another, but are satisfied with our existence, then all the exterior materialistic, negative influences of the ‘me’ becomes meaningless, non important or no real value.

Know who you are

Hiding behind a sea of emotions will keep you from growing into the person you were meant to be

Our whole purpose on this earth is to love others with complete and true love. But before we can do that, we must love ourselves. So, how is your relationship with yourself ?

Do you have a relationship with you? It’s a good idea to ponder into the deep side of you and meditate upon the mysteries of who you are, or better yet, of whom you can become. Before we can have significant and lasting relationships with others, we need to understand the person we are now and the person we can become.

Break free from your inhibitions and ask yourself, “Who am i?” “What is my purpose in life?” Answer with complete truth and honesty. Then live your life off that foundation. Base your life upon who you are.

Break free from your doubts and fears and be happy loving who you are. Once you love who you are, you will be totally free to love others. If our purpose on this earth is to love others, we certainly cannot truly achieve that if we are hiding inside our insecurities and not really loving ourselves.

Hiding behind a sea of emotions or a certain weakness will keep us from growing into the person we were meant to be. Being afraid to love others because of being hurt in the past also keeps us from trusting others enough to love.

The first step in growing out from self is to understand what your purpose, goals, ideas, and dreams in life are. Believe it or not, some folks aren’t sure what their purpose and goals in life are and live in a depressed state of aimless wondering and disillusionment. But it doesn’t have to be like that!

The focus here is to grow out from self by knowing first, who we are, and then working towards the substance of who we are. Who are you? What are you? Where are you going? Why are you going? Find it, seek it, acknowledge it, know it, and go after it with gusto! It’s like a caterpillar that eventually metamorphosises into a beautiful butterfly. All of God’s creations have the ability to turn into beautiful butterflies.

But not all of God’s creations will become beautiful butterflies. Why is that? A caterpillar doesn’t allow itself to be free from self. Whether it is through weakness or fear, a caterpillar must break free from what is holding it back by realizing it can become a butterfly.

A butterfly is free from the restraints of self. A butterfly has grown out from self and now seeks to love others with all the love it has while a caterpillar is still seeking to be loved by others. Unfortunately, many caterpillars do not know they have the ability to become butterflies and so remain in their cocoon until they die.

Come out of your cocoon and become the butterfly you were always meant to become. Learn to know who you are by having a truly honest relationship with yourself. Grow out of any negativities that may be wedged within your mental and spiritual capacities.

Low self-worth, fear, mistrust, insecurities, sin, and unbelief will keep you from discovering the natural and true person you really are. But when you have enough belief in God then you know He will keep you safe from those feelings that plague you or that would keep you from growing into the butterfly you were meant to be.

Fearful and insecure persons hide behind negative emotions and are enveloped within a particular weakness in their life. Unbelief is a weakness. Unbelief in the Creator is the biggest and most damaging weakness a person can carry upon their shoulders.

Get to know who you are, because that is what God wants for you. Come out of hiding, all you caterpillars, and become free butterflies!

What is Spirituality?

Spirituality takes us beyond our ego-centered lives by expanding our hearts with compassion towards all

Spirituality lies beyond the material world of proof, beyond what can be measured or counted. It is made up of the inner life, the realm of belief, mystery, and faith. And yet for all the mystery that surrounds it, spirituality is vital to our well-being. It is the foundation of our most closely held values, the seat of our trust and hope.

Spirituality brings purpose and meaning to life, and as we develop it we grow in wisdom and love. We begin to experience a sense of awe, a sense of connection to all of life, and a deep reverence for the Divine. We find ourselves moved to prayers of gratitude and moments of spontaneous worship. Spirituality calls a human being to a life of trust and service.
When our spirituality is nurtured and vibrant, we’re connected. This connection is both a sense of relationship to the Creator, Great Spirit, or God, as well as a relationship to all people and to Mother Earth. Spirituality takes us beyond our egocenterd lives by expanding our hearts with compassion towards all.

I have observed that spirituality forms the framework of many persons orientation to life; it does not dwell in a realm apart. It is not an extracurricular activity. Spirituality involves a reverent attitude towards all things because it awakens us to a divine presence in all things. In this way of seeing and being, all things and persons are interconnected and interdependent. In the Sioux native language, the word for the Great Spirit is Wakan, which means ‘the great mystery.’ Yet this spirit, full of mystery, is every bit as real as the visible, tangible world. It is important to differentiate spirituality from religion. Some people have rejected religion in order to escape what they consider to be oppressive rules and regulations. In the process, however, many lose the great gifts of joy and compassion that spirituality brings. Religion and spirituality are related and intertwined, but they are not the same. A person may experience spirituality without being a member of any specific religious affiliation, and even the most religious person may feel spiritually bereft.

The true purpose of religion is to enhance spirituality through ritual and practice. This is accomplished when a person approaches his or her religion as a way to enter the great mystery, to become aware of the sacredness of all life. Religion can become a barrier to spirituality when it insists on narrow, judgmental dogma, and estranges its followers from a sense of connection with the Divine. Religion serves us best as a vehicle to nourish and develop our spirituality. It is possible, however, to get too caught up in the vehicle, the religious practice, while losing sight of the destination, spirituality, which is communion with the Divine and compassion for all.

For modern, academically oriented professionals, like physicians and health care workers, spirituality is often a difficult subject. Our training is framed by science. In Western culture especially, we depend on logical, analytical, and rational approaches, and for good reason.

These approaches have successfully ushered in a host of life-changing improvements in health care and technology. While honouring science and the mind, our cultural tendency urges us to devalue belief and mystery, but the result is costly: We’re left spiritually starved and out of balance. Some of life’s most difficult questions are the spiritual ones. What is the purpose of life? Where does real meaning come from? What is of real value in our lives? If there truly is a God who loves us, how could there be so much suffering and unfairness in the world?

Part of our addiction to the busyness of life is an attempt to prevent ourselves from thinking about our mortality, the inevitable fact of our own death. But when we keep ourselves too busy to consider the purpose of our existence, our lives cease to have meaning.

Strangely, it is only when we fully accept the reality of our mortality that we truly begin to live. This is the point at which we begin to enter into and learn about the spiritual dimension of our humanity. As French philosopher Pierre Teilhard de Chardin remarked, “We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a physical experience.” Our spirituality is our true essence. It is that part of our life which relates to our soul, which from a spiritual perspective is connected to the Divine.

Love Yourself

When we look at having supportive, loving relationships in our life, why not start with ourself

Relationships are how we relate to others. We have a relationship with everyone that we know and who is close to us. This is not reserved for our family or someone who we are involved with. Every interaction we have with another is the act of relating. If we have a problem relating to others, this affects our ability to have supportive relationships. We have to ask ourselves if our relationships are supportive and if they are not, then ask ourselves why they are not. Everyone wants the perfect romance or marriage, but not everyone looks at the mechanics of how to have one. If we fail to have supportive relationships in our life, how can we have the perfect relationship?

Lets look at what is a supportive relationship. The word support is very important. It means that our interaction supports another. This means more than supporting another in their decisions or actions, rather through the act of supporting, we honor and validate who the other person is. In turn, this validates who we are. Both are supported, no one loses, no ego’s involved, and in so doing, we honor the relationship. This is what it means to have a supportive relationship. This is the desired goal. Now, how do we accomplish it?

There are several reasons why we may have problems relating to others. One primary reason is our behavioral patterns. These patterns are developed over a course of our lives. It starts when we are children, through to our adolescence, and by the time we are adults, we have established our behavioral patterns for our relationships. We can have both positive and negative behavioral patterns. What causes negative behavioral patterns? If we look at a person’s life, we can readily see which is negative or positive behavior. But we may not easily see the cause of the negative.

The cause usually resides in the past in which a trauma or an event occurred that effects how we behave in the future. If that event occurs again, or if something happens currently to cause us to experience that trauma again, that is when we respond to it. Situations can act as triggers, which may cause us to react to the person that is involved in the situation. This causes a negative behavioral pattern. Until we can identify the problem, we are powerless to do anything about it.

Whatever the situation was to trigger a reactionary response, the cause must be discovered in order to heal the original fracture. In Shamanism terms this is called a Soul Fracture. A fracture of the Self. Each self is part of the whole which comprises the soul. Soul Fractures occur for a variety of reasons and may or may not relate to this current lifetime. Traumas have occurred in past lifetimes that may or may not have been addressed. The Soul holds the body of these life experiences. Furthermore, the life process itself can be very painful for some. Past experiences that have dishonored, or invalidated who we are, cause us to close ourself off even more. These experiences build up over a matter of time and unless a clearing occurs, emotional or physical problems may develop.

If a problem has been identified, what can we do about it? One can try to clear it themselves, or one can go to a practioner who is adept at doing clearings. In order to clear, one must identify the original cause that created a behavioral pattern. Then, move through the experience of that situation, and experience the emotions that we have associated with it. Then, we must have closure or completion. This means completing it anyway that we are able. As long as, we feel that we have a sense of completion for the experience.

So, after we have identified the cause and received closure or completion, then we let it go. This does not mean to forgive or forget, that is not what it is to release. The act of releasing is our readiness to heal. Only after the experience has cleared can healing occur.

The healing process is a time when we must be very loving to ourself. If we beat up ourself about the experience that had caused us harm or our past reaction to it, then we cannot heal. In being loving to ourself, we validate what we had experienced at that time and our emotions for it. Our emotions are always valid. So it’s important for us to do this self validation in order to heal.

Love is the energy that helps us to heal, whether we give this love to ourselves, or we receive it from another. When we look at having supportive, loving relationships in our life, why not start with ourself ? Because that is where love comes from. This is what transforms our relationships and our lives. We must love the self first. And we cannot do that until we have healed and become whole.